3 Uncomfortable Truths About Reality

 

Letting Go of the Moral Scorecard
(Learned From People Who Seem to Get Everything They Want)

At some point, most of us ask the same desperate questions: Why does this feel so unfair? Why is this happening to me?
Why do kind, thoughtful people struggle - while others, sometimes people who don’t seem like good people - move through life with ease?

It can feel disheartening. You try to do the right thing. You consider others. You show up with good intentions. And yet, your circumstances don’t always shift in the way you hoped they would.

This confusion often comes from an assumption we were taught early on: that life rewards goodness and punishes wrongdoing. But reality doesn’t quite work like a moral referee.

A helpful way to think about it is this:

The universe isn’t moral. It’s mechanical.

Like gravity or electricity, it responds consistently and without judgment, to what’s being expressed internally. The people who seem to “get away with everything” aren’t being rewarded for bad behaviour but they are  more often aligned with these mechanics in ways that are uncomfortable to acknowledge.

What we’ll talk about today isn’t praise or endorsement. It’s a gentle, honest look at three internal patterns that tend to produce results whether we like the people who embody them or not.

1. They Don’t Apologise for Wanting More

Many well-meaning people are deeply considerate, and often to their own detriment (people pleasers, anyone?). They worry about taking up space, about being selfish, about wanting too much. Over time, this can create a subtle habit of apologising for their own desires. That apology often turns inward as guilt.

And guilt has a quiet way of unravelling things:

• You feel uneasy for wanting more

• That unease turns into guilt

• Guilt becomes self-criticism

• Self-criticism turns into self-sabotage

• Life begins to mirror that internal resistance back to you

This isn’t because the universe is punishing you. It’s because you’re unknowingly working against yourself.

By contrast, people who appear “unbothered” by others’ opinions often skip this entire loop. They don’t waste energy judging their own desires. Without guilt, there’s nothing to resist and nothing to sabotage.

This is about no longer placing yourself last, even in your thoughts.

Takeaway:
Consistently prioritising everyone else can quietly signal that your needs don’t matter. When you stop apologising for wanting more, you stop sending mixed messages internally and externally.

2. Their Self-Worth Sets the Ceiling

Think of self-worth as a thermostat. You can work hard, visualise, and set goals - but if your internal sense of worth is low, you’ll keep being pulled back to what feels familiar.

There’s an important difference between believing you deserve something and knowing it.

Belief still leaves room for doubt.
Knowing feels settled. Non-negotiable.

That knowing doesn’t come from affirmations alone. It comes from learning to emotionally experience what it feels like to belong where you want to be. And this happens before the evidence can show up.

In this sense, “entitlement” isn’t arrogance. It’s the quiet assumption of of course this is for me.

Many people who succeed don’t chase belonging. they move as if it’s already theirs.

The universe responds easily to that familiarity.

Takeaway:
You can ask for more with your words, but your feelings do the real communicating. Your self-worth determines what feels safe and natural for you to receive.

3. They Don’t Inherit Other People’s Limits

We absorb countless assumptions without realising it:
“It’s hard to meet the right person.”
“There’s not enough opportunity.”
“Things are only getting worse.”

But some people quietly opt out of these limiting beliefs (and this is part of the reason they come across as harsh or overbearing or downright mean.).

When faced with a collective belief, response - spoken or not - is simply: That may be true for others, but not for me.

They don’t argue with reality. They just don’t consent to limitations that don’t serve them.

This often makes them seem arrogant. But what people usually react to isn’t arrogance, it’s contrast. Confidence can be uncomfortable when it highlights a belief we’ve struggled to build in ourselves.

Takeaway:
Your reality is shaped by the assumptions you accept as true. You’re allowed to question them. You’re allowed to choose differently.

Working With Reality, Not Against It

These three truths point to one underlying principle:
Reality responds to your internal state and not your moral effort.

Being kind, ethical, and thoughtful matters. But those qualities alone don’t determine outcomes. Creation happens at the level of self-concept, emotional alignment, and expectation.

Trying to “earn” a better life through effort alone is exhausting. Real change happens when your inner state matches the life you’re asking for.

So instead of asking, “Why isn’t being good enough?”
A gentler question might be:

What have I been quietly telling reality about my place in it?